#EthnicallyAmbiguousPeopleProblems

Daughter and I attended a screening of "Beyond the Lights" a couple nights ago. I had completely forgotten she'd auditioned for a small role (the main character as a child) in the film. Daughter recalled it as the young actress sang a song that was part of the audition. The role was for a biracial girl who can sing. With her mixed heritage and soulful voice (as determined by the unbiased ears of her proud mother), Daughter seemed perfect for the part. But we quickly realized while watching the movie that she was not a good fit. The role called for kinky hair, which was an important plot point. Daughter got that good hurr; her loose curls would not have worked. She even does a spot-on British accent that would have served her well for the one line she would've spoken. But hair is hair. You can't fake that shit; not convincingly. 

We chalked it up to a great reminder that sometimes--no matter how talented you may be--you just don't have the right look for the part. That wasn't the only time Daughter has been asked to audition for a role she isn't right for. She read for the daughter of the main characters in "The Conjuring." Hubs and I laughed when she got the request because the couple is white and their daughter is their biological child. It's based on real people, after all. So a little beige girl up in there would look a tad silly. But Daughter auditioned anyway.

She also auditioned for some movie in which she was to play a younger version of Isabelle Fuhrman's character. If you've seen Ms. Fuhrman in "Orphan" or "The Hunger Games," you know she's white. Like white white. But Daughter auditioned for that, too. What's that? You'd like Daughter to try out for the role of "small Jewish girl" in a Hanukah print ad? She'll be right there!

Daughter always auditions. You never know what may come of it, or what connections you'll make. So, if she gets an invitation to read for the role of a half-girl/half goat with green eyes and a red fro, Daughter will audition.   

Over the summer Daughter auditioned for a role in a much-hyped film releasing next year. They haven't announced who's been cast in "her" role, but the character's family has been announced. The dad looks biracial. The mom is brown. The brother is browner still. Not sure how my little beige child would fit credibly into that family, but "The Cosby Show" got away with it ...

Although she's half black, Daughter almost never gets auditions for black characters. There was that one Church's Chicken TV spot. We drove four hours round trip to discover what I'd already suspected; she was the only butterscotch chip in that chocolate chip cookie. You have to wonder what the casting director was thinking. But, hey, we stopped at our favorite outlet mall on the way home, so the day wasn't a total loss.

Such is the life of an ethnically ambiguous actress. Truth be told, the majority of work she books is Hispanic roles. Hell, if I didn't know better, I'd think she was a Latina. What can you do? Enroll the girl in Spanish lessons, that's what.

Así es la vida!



My ethnically ambiguous future star

Skywalker Family Therapy Notes

This weekend's Trifextra challenge: write 33 words about a famous trio. 

These ARE the words you're looking for. (I believe my "cool mom" points just went through the roof.)

Treatment impetus:  twins' rebellion against father

Initial assessment:

• male/female twins with history of incest
• father presents with possible borderline personality disorder
• son displays abandonment issues
• daughter exhibits bad-boy fetish

Recommendation: aggressive therapy

A Reel Love Story

Our family loves movies. We have weekly movie nights. The family calendar includes theatrical release dates. So, as you can probably imagine, the Academy Awards are a huge deal in our house. We fill out ballots in advance and let the kids stay up to watch the telecast. We trash talk when our picks win and hold grudges when a favorite nominee loses. (Meryl Streep over Viola Davis? Are you freakin' serious?!)

Since movies are such a big part of our lives, I decided to compose a valentine to Hubs incorporating titles of Best Picture Oscar winners throughout history. So, grab some popcorn, silence your cellphone, and enjoy the show.

Dear Hubs,

I'd pretty much given up on love when It Happened. One Night I went on my first ever blind date, not expecting a whole lot. You see, I hadn't had much luck in the dating department. I’d had my share of Dances With Wolves in sheep's clothing. Once I met you, though, things seemed to finally be Going My Way. On our second date, I knew you were "the one." When we kissed goodnight, I swear I heard The Sound of Music.

I fell faster than the Titanic. I didn’t tell you this, of course. But, if you’d asked me to, I would’ve followed you Around the World. In 80 Days or so, you moved in with me. (It was a good thing, too, because The Apartment you lived in was a dump.) We moved lightning fast, but when you know, you know, right? And then, just one month later, you risked The Sting of rejection and asked me to be your wife. They say it’s good luck if your wedding day brings Rain. Man, we must really be lucky. It snowed on that sunny April afternoon as we vowed to be one From Here to Eternity.

We had A Beautiful, Mind-altering honeymoon. We didn’t stay at some Grand Hotel. That’s not our style. We went on our first Disney cruise and visited Disney World. Nine months later, our honeymoon souvenir arrived: a bouncing baby boy. A couple years passed, and then we added a baby girl to our family. With two little ones, our carefree days were Gone With the Wind.

Marriage isn’t easy. We’ve seen many a union Crash and burn, but that won’t happen to us. Sure, we've had Rocky patches. After all, we’re just two Ordinary People with plenty of faults and quirks. As you know, putting up with me requires a Braveheart and a lot of patience. We have our disagreements, but no problem goes unresolved; no mistake is Unforgiven. As The Artist, Auguste Renoir, once said, "The pain passes and the beauty remains." The obstacles we've overcome in our marriage have strengthened our bond.

I think the secret to our success is that we don’t take each other for granted. We let the other know we care daily—be it with Terms of Endearment or a simple “I love you.” We’ve also never lost our passion. In the Heat of the Night we still have that heat (wink, wink). If you ever stop Patton my rear end when I walk by, I’ll know we’re in serious trouble.

Honey, you’re my Million Dollar Baby ... because that’s how much life insurance I have on you. Aww, come on; you know I’m kidding. I wouldn’t trade what we have for all the money in the world. I mean, money is nice, but You Can’t Take It With You. A love like ours is forever.

We've had 15 amazing years together, but I believe The Best Years of Our Lives are yet to come. Happy Valentine’s Day to my one and only leading man!

XOXOXO

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