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| http://foter.com/photo/or/ |
Will she ever look up from that text?
I’m all substance—no style.
But if I make her smile,
Who knows what could transpire next?
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I initially wrote a different limerick for this prompt. It was dark. Really dark. What does it say about me that I looked at this innocent photo and immediately went to such a macabre place? If I'm ever wrongfully accused of murdering someone (which I'm 97% certain I would never do), could such posts be used against me during my trial? I wouldn't survive prison. I talk a good game, but I'm basically soft and girly.
You know what? I'm posting it anyway. Here is "Finals Week":
You know what? I'm posting it anyway. Here is "Finals Week":
She studied in vain for a test.
Watching her stirred the urge I’d repressed.
As my teeth tore her skin,
Her blood dripped from my chin.
There once was a girl named Celeste.
In true Ivy fashion. I like your dark side best!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Why am I not surprised? You have a pretty wicked dark side yourself. Thanks, Mel!
DeleteI like the dark one the best too. That was amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kathy! I have to say the dark one is my favorite, too. But my tendency toward the macabre freaks me out sometimes. Yikes!
DeleteWhoa, coulda sworn I mentioned how our two lovebirds are destined to meet. Love the light and the dark, Ivy!
ReplyDeleteHaha! I did get an email saying you commented, but never saw it here. I love the idea of our two getting together. Just make sure she doesn't accidently hook up with the guy in my dark piece. Lol!
DeleteLooks like the dark side is winning out but, like Kymm, I like the contrast between light and dark. In either case, a smouldering take on the prompt. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tom. :) I decided to post them both because I thought it was kinda cool that the photo inspired two wildly different prompts from my crazy brain.
Delete"There once was a girl named Celeste." The frightening limerick was the best!
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks, Shawn. That's my favorite line. Since it's typically an opener, I think using it at the end (to signify her end) is the creepiest part. My brain scares me sometimes.
DeleteI'm so glad you posted them both. I'm torn about which I liked best. And your commentary made me laugh, as usual.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Momo. I do like the dark piece best, but I'm glad I was able to come up with a light, romantic piece, too. It proves I'm not totally warped. Although, you should've seen Hubs's face when he read the dark one. I wouldn't be surprised if he hid all our knives.
Deletewell either way, i see both scenarios as wonderful writing. that dark one, oh, my!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the wonderful comment, Sun. :)
DeleteI should adore the one about love, but it's the dark one that is inspired. Both are so well written (Limericks! Jeepers Cats Ivy is there anything you can't do...nah!) but I can see your TALENT in the dark one so much.
ReplyDeleteMissing you but so glad to visit you here , read your amazing words...sending lots of hugs.
xo
Oh, Kir. I adore your wonderful comments. Thank you, my beautiful friend. XOXO
DeleteI am so looking forward to celebrating your birthday with you. :)
I love them both too Ivy! And in the limerick version, at least she was saved from the possible humiliation of failing;) Once again, my eyes lit up as I feasted on your delicious work:)
ReplyDeleteIf she's a hopeless perfectionist like me, she probably would prefer death to failing a test. Haha!
DeleteValerie, thank you dearest. Your sweet words always warm my heart. XO
I love the first one! Flirty and fun!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ashley! I'm glad you enjoyed the lighter piece.
DeleteI liked them both
ReplyDelete(But the second one more.)
(Which says more about me than your writing.)
;)
Ha! Thanks, EG. But I think the mere act of writing that piece says quite a bit about me. ;)
DeleteI loved them both, and I think limericks are an underrated art form LM x
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lyssa. And I agree with you. Limericks are harder to write than they might seem. It's a fun challenge.
DeleteOh, I love them both. But the first one...all substance, no style. Great line.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kelly. I like that line too. I pictured this sweet guy who doesn't dress the greatest but has a fantastic sense of humor. I'd give him a chance. :)
DeleteThat first limerick is nice. But that second one... That second one, man... Brilliant. I absolutely love that you took the stereotypical opener -- "There once was a ___ named ___" -- and flipped it on its head. Really awesome work!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm thrilled that last line is resonating with readers. I was pretty proud of the dark piece when I finished it. But then I pussed out and wrote the lighter piece. Next time I will go with my (dark, twisted) gut. :)
DeleteOoh Ivy,you are a girl after my heart-just fell in love with the second one!You can be dark-darker-darkest whenever you feel like and if ever they decide to send you to prison,I will come with you -we can both cook up some more of these dark wicked tales,what say? :D
ReplyDeleteAtreyee, you crack me up! Thank you for the wicked awesome comment, my sister in darkness. :)
DeleteThe concensus is definitely in favor of the dark one, and it's my favorite, too. If this were a community-judged week (which is the only way I've ever made it to the winners' circle), I might kick my own ass for second guessing my work. I have learned my lesson though. From now on, if I am happy with a piece, I'm gonna run with it.
I love both of them! The contrast is fantastic - the light flirtiness of the first poem's last line vs the genuine menace of the second poem's last line. It's almost like you've got one narrator with a split personality, a Jekyll-and-Hydeness. I wish it were a 99-word challenge so you could put them together, and maybe add a third stanza, either from the girl's PoV or synthesizing the two previous ones. (There was a Trifextra challenge like that, way back when - we had to describe the same scene from 3 points of view, 33 words each.) Anyhow, great job!
ReplyDeleteI reread them after seeing your comment. I love your take on it--the idea that the sweet, seemingly harmless guy in the first poem is actually a sadistic killer by the third 33 words. So deliciously creepy!
DeleteThanks for leaving such a fantastic comment, Christine. It made my morning. :)
They are both really good, but I'm drawn to your dark side (shockingly!). I also love your comment about being 97% certain you'd never murder anyone. I like the margin of error you've left yourself. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Suzanne! I like to leave myself a little leeway. ;)
DeleteI like them both, but I totally prefer the dark one too! Stick to your gut next time! ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you, and I will!
DeleteThey are both equally worthy. Do you think Bram Stoker ever felt like that? The creepiest thing is that you are only 97% certain!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Good question. It's nice to think of successful authors having doubts. I ust read about J.K. Rowling doubting the end of her Harry Potter series. Makes me feel better. :)
DeleteI'm kinda glad you went with the less sinister one! haha Awesome work.
ReplyDeleteWell that's surprising, but I'm glad you enjoyed the lighter piece. Thanks. Draug!
DeleteAll substance and no style works as you get older, I've found. :-) Thanks for linking up.
ReplyDeleteTrue. Very true. :)
Delete