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Monday, February 10, 2014

No Love, No Tears, No Pain, Etc.

This week's Trifecta Writing Challenge is to come up with 33 words about love gone wrong; however, the piece cannot include the following words:

love, sad, tears, wept, heart, pain

Here are my 33:

Whispers yell
Rumors swell

My past sin
Your chagrin

Passion wanes
Our knot strains

Your mistrust
Breeds my lust

"Lock the door,
Paramour"

You suspect
I deflect

And you stay
While I stray
Posted by at
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48 comments:

  1. KirFebruary 10, 2014 at 4:07 PM

    Oh Ivy...
    wow. I can't even put my words for this into a thought, I'm just so blown away by the simple truth of it.

    WOW!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 7:55 AM

      Wow! Your wonderful comment blew me away. Your words mean more to me than I can express. XO

      Delete
  2. brudbergFebruary 10, 2014 at 4:28 PM

    Ah.. what a story.. and the rhymes just make for such an awesome flow.

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    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 7:56 AM

      Thank you, Bjorn. That means a lot coming from the Master of Poetry. :)

      Delete
  3. kymmFebruary 10, 2014 at 4:44 PM

    I can just see her flicking the ash off the end of her long cigarette. Sooooooo elegant, Ivy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 7:58 AM

      Ha! I like that characterization. I think she cares but doesn't want to admit it. I can see her with that long cigarette feigning indifference.

      Thanks, Kymm. :)

      Delete
  4. Michelle StanleyFebruary 10, 2014 at 6:56 PM

    It's an upbeat poem containing a good tale of love gone astray. I like it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 7:59 AM

      I don't know if I'd call it "upbeat." (Lol!) But thank you! :)

      Delete
  5. JannaTWritesFebruary 10, 2014 at 11:31 PM

    Great story/poem! So sad when love and marriage go this way, but realistic for some nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 8:08 AM

      Thanks, Janna. Trust is so key in a relationship. These two were doomed from the start.

      Delete
  6. troy P.February 10, 2014 at 11:37 PM

    I'm with Kir - blown away. Beautiful. And leaving me more than just a touch bit wistful as well =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 8:08 AM

      Awww. Thanks, Troy! Your kind words brought a smile to my face. :)

      Delete
  7. susanFebruary 11, 2014 at 6:42 AM

    Excellent, Ivy. And so true!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Tara R.February 11, 2014 at 7:29 AM

    The simplicity of this is so powerful. No words wasted to tell a painful story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 8:35 AM

      Thank you, Tara! I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback. :)

      Delete
  9. September DreamsFebruary 11, 2014 at 7:49 AM

    I loved how this one flows rhythmically giving away all truth, bit by bit.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2014 at 8:30 AM

    A rhyming reply to the challenge. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  11. EdselFebruary 11, 2014 at 10:55 AM

    very meaningful..... :)

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  12. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2014 at 12:09 PM

    Damn girl, you nailed this - as usual. This is awesome, Ivy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:42 AM

      Haha! Can't tell you how much I love this comment. Thanks, Momo!

      Delete
  13. Shailaja VFebruary 11, 2014 at 12:15 PM

    Incredible way with words! Loved this take!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:47 AM

      Thank you for the lovely comment, Shailaja! :)

      Delete
  14. TrifectaFebruary 11, 2014 at 1:28 PM

    Echo Momo's words. Nailed this one. Tight, clean and leaves the reader sighing for more. Don't forget to come back and vote!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:56 AM

      Wow! Thanks, Trifecta. This made my morning. :)

      Delete
  15. GinaFebruary 11, 2014 at 2:39 PM

    This is outstanding in every which way! You've outdone this challenge, Ivy!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:57 AM

      Thanks for the wicked awesome comment, Gina. I'm smiling ear to ear. :)

      Delete
  16. glynis rankinFebruary 11, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    Again, what can I say that everyone hasn't already said. You are a great writer Ivy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IvyFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:58 AM

      Glynis, you are so sweet. Thank you, my friend. :)

      Delete
  17. chamblee54February 11, 2014 at 6:46 PM

    there is time
    to make it rhyme

    ReplyDelete
  18. garrisonjamesFebruary 11, 2014 at 6:56 PM

    Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 10:20 AM

    This so good, Ivy. Rhyme, words and the story - woven together with knots of failed love but none in your writing. Fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 12:11 PM

    Loved 'Lock the door paramour."

    ReplyDelete
  21. rebeccaFebruary 12, 2014 at 5:28 PM

    Yep. The more you hold and mistrust, the more manifest destiny your life becomes. Really well done ...

    ReplyDelete
  22. UnknownFebruary 12, 2014 at 6:57 PM

    WOW, you really nailed this one! Love this! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  23. C.C.February 13, 2014 at 1:00 AM

    This is fantastic. Beautiful. True. Splendid. Can't say enough great things about it!

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 2:09 AM

    I don't know where to start because this is mind blowing. Simply worded yet so powerful. Passion wanes and you stay while I stray are words and feelings that I know so many people can relate to. This is one of my favorites from you so far. One of.............. meaning there are several of your pieces that are on my list of favorites by Ivy. :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. SaraFebruary 13, 2014 at 2:07 PM

    You definitely get my vote. I love the how you did the rhyme, but told a story at the same time. I also liked the back and forth rhythm of how you used your words. This was an excellent poem and a great take on the prompt:~)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ally February 13, 2014 at 3:22 PM

    I think we have to lock the door so she doesn't get out ;)


    Excellent

    Ally :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Valerie BoersmaFebruary 13, 2014 at 3:37 PM

    This blew me away Ivy! The power you packed in just 33 words is like dynamite! Well done, girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousFebruary 15, 2014 at 12:38 AM

    Dang - this is a whole novel in 33 words. Wonderful, wonderful job! "Lock the door, Paramour" gave me shivers. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. AtreyeeFebruary 15, 2014 at 3:40 PM

    Flawless!

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousFebruary 15, 2014 at 7:45 PM

    I like the couplets. A history of the downfall of a relationship in 33 words!

    ReplyDelete

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