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Monday, February 10, 2014

No Love, No Tears, No Pain, Etc.

This week's Trifecta Writing Challenge is to come up with 33 words about love gone wrong; however, the piece cannot include the following words:

love, sad, tears, wept, heart, pain

Here are my 33:

Whispers yell
Rumors swell

My past sin
Your chagrin

Passion wanes
Our knot strains

Your mistrust
Breeds my lust

"Lock the door,
Paramour"

You suspect
I deflect

And you stay
While I stray

49 comments:

  1. Oh Ivy...
    wow. I can't even put my words for this into a thought, I'm just so blown away by the simple truth of it.

    WOW!

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    1. Wow! Your wonderful comment blew me away. Your words mean more to me than I can express. XO

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  2. Ah.. what a story.. and the rhymes just make for such an awesome flow.

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    1. Thank you, Bjorn. That means a lot coming from the Master of Poetry. :)

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  3. I can just see her flicking the ash off the end of her long cigarette. Sooooooo elegant, Ivy!

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    1. Ha! I like that characterization. I think she cares but doesn't want to admit it. I can see her with that long cigarette feigning indifference.

      Thanks, Kymm. :)

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  4. It's an upbeat poem containing a good tale of love gone astray. I like it!

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    1. I don't know if I'd call it "upbeat." (Lol!) But thank you! :)

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  5. Great story/poem! So sad when love and marriage go this way, but realistic for some nonetheless.

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    1. Thanks, Janna. Trust is so key in a relationship. These two were doomed from the start.

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  6. I'm with Kir - blown away. Beautiful. And leaving me more than just a touch bit wistful as well =)

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    1. Awww. Thanks, Troy! Your kind words brought a smile to my face. :)

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  7. The simplicity of this is so powerful. No words wasted to tell a painful story.

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    1. Thank you, Tara! I really appreciate your thoughtful feedback. :)

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  8. I loved how this one flows rhythmically giving away all truth, bit by bit.

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    1. Thanks, SD! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

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  9. A rhyming reply to the challenge. Well done.

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  10. Damn girl, you nailed this - as usual. This is awesome, Ivy!

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    1. Haha! Can't tell you how much I love this comment. Thanks, Momo!

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  11. Incredible way with words! Loved this take!

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    1. Thank you for the lovely comment, Shailaja! :)

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  12. Echo Momo's words. Nailed this one. Tight, clean and leaves the reader sighing for more. Don't forget to come back and vote!

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    1. Wow! Thanks, Trifecta. This made my morning. :)

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  13. This is outstanding in every which way! You've outdone this challenge, Ivy!!!

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    1. Thanks for the wicked awesome comment, Gina. I'm smiling ear to ear. :)

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  14. Again, what can I say that everyone hasn't already said. You are a great writer Ivy!

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    1. Glynis, you are so sweet. Thank you, my friend. :)

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    1. OK, then. Lol! Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  16. This so good, Ivy. Rhyme, words and the story - woven together with knots of failed love but none in your writing. Fabulous!

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  17. Yep. The more you hold and mistrust, the more manifest destiny your life becomes. Really well done ...

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  18. WOW, you really nailed this one! Love this! ♥

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  19. This is fantastic. Beautiful. True. Splendid. Can't say enough great things about it!

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  20. I don't know where to start because this is mind blowing. Simply worded yet so powerful. Passion wanes and you stay while I stray are words and feelings that I know so many people can relate to. This is one of my favorites from you so far. One of.............. meaning there are several of your pieces that are on my list of favorites by Ivy. :)

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  21. You definitely get my vote. I love the how you did the rhyme, but told a story at the same time. I also liked the back and forth rhythm of how you used your words. This was an excellent poem and a great take on the prompt:~)

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  22. I think we have to lock the door so she doesn't get out ;)


    Excellent

    Ally :)

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  23. This blew me away Ivy! The power you packed in just 33 words is like dynamite! Well done, girl!!

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  24. Dang - this is a whole novel in 33 words. Wonderful, wonderful job! "Lock the door, Paramour" gave me shivers. :)

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  25. I like the couplets. A history of the downfall of a relationship in 33 words!

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You're so sexy when you comment on my blog.