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Monday, October 21, 2013

A Hint of Normalcy

Dana was oddly grateful for the trill of the alarm. She could finally stop chasing the phantom of a decent night’s rest. They’d gotten home around midnight—10 hours after the ambulance pulled up to the ER doors. Her husband had passed out again. This time Peter's head hit the rough concrete breezeway outside their apartment. Blood blanketed the ground in front of their doorway like the world’s least welcoming welcome mat.

The doctor released him after the usual MRI and CT scan dance.

“No abnormalities on the films,” he’d announced. Again.

Sure, Dana thought. Because it’s perfectly normal for an otherwise healthy 30-year-old man to black out eight times in three months. No headaches, no dizziness, no recollection of falling.

Peter’s "spells" were taking a toll. They’d been talking children. Until they got some answers, though, starting a family seemed too risky. Not that getting pregnant was actually a possibility. Sex was becoming a distant memory. He was always too tired.

But in bed the following night, Peter pressed against her. As much as Dana wanted to rebuff him in retaliation for spurning her advances, she yearned for him. His hands explored her body, her skin tingling at his touch.

“Condom,” she reminded.

“Let’s not.” His hot breath fell between her breasts. Dana’s fingers travelled up Peter’s back toward his hair. They stopped over a substantial bump on his neck.

Dana steered his fingers to the spot. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

Peter rubbed the area. “Nope.”

He coaxed her back onto the pillow with kisses.

*

Through the crack in the drapes, sunlight fell on Dana’s face. She’d had a decent night’s rest and fantastic sex. She smiled at the hint of normalcy. As Dana swung her feet to the floor, her thighs hit her stomach. She looked down to see her abdomen protruding drastically. Large lumps pulsated across her belly just beneath the veiny, nearly transparent skin. Mute with terror, Dana turned to Peter. A huge, busted cocoon lay shriveling in his place.

#

This week's Trifecta Writing Challenge: The entry must be 33-333 words and include the word "phantom" as defined below:

PHANTOM
a representation of something abstract, ideal, or incorporeal <she was a phantom of delight — William Wordsworth>

Word count: 333

36 comments:

  1. OMG Ivy. I looked both ways before I read this-and I did not see that ending coming;) BAM! Awesome, awesome writing!!!

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    1. Haha! Thanks, my friend. Glad the ending came as a surprise. :)

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  2. Ha! That was good. I wanted something drastic and it eventually came to that. :-)
    -HA

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    1. I'm happy I was able to deliver. :) Thanks!

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  3. I love the use of the word phantom here!

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  4. Replies
    1. Hahaha! I'll take that as a compliment. :)

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  5. I think back to my younger days and can recall a few romps in the night that ended weirdly. But, I have to admit that you have got me beat with this ending, Ivy. Wowsers, indeed! Didn't see you headed there. Well done. Thanks for surprising me. I like that. :)

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    1. Well, at least she went out with a bang. Ba-dum-bump!

      Thanks for the awesome comment, Tom! :)

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  6. The end completely took me over! This is such a great entry, Ivy - Love it!

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  7. AAAH! Creepy! Happy Halloween huh? I see you're really getting into the spirit of things...

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    1. Well, they asked for ghoulish, and I aim to please. :)

      Thanks for reading!

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  8. What the???? I did not expect that ending at all. Creeeeeepy!

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    1. Thanks, Janna! When I started writing this, I had no idea how it would end, so it was a surprise to me too. :)

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  9. Woah - you completely blindsided me! You wrote such a fantastic "slice of life" that there was no way I could have predicted the ending. I absolutely loved it! And for the record, EWWWWW!

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    1. Haha! Thank you for the awesome feedback, Christine. I'm glad you enjoyed my little story. :)

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  10. Channeling Kafka - works for me. What a wild and vivid imagination you have, Ivy. Kudos for throwing us off balance, in a good way!

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    1. Steph, thank you for the wicked awesome comment! :)

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  11. lolwut
    This is some strange writing but I like it haha

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  12. It took me a couple of reads-- I wasn't sure I'd read it right... But boy, this was a good one :D

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  13. Good lord, woman. What are you doing to us? Ha ha! I love this. It's the perfect addition to our month of creepy linkups.

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    1. Hahaha! Hey--you asked for ghoulish.

      Thanks for the kind words. :)

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  14. That's it: no more one-night stands for me!
    Hahaha What a creepy, twisted ending to a night of passion, Ivy! And to think what still lies ahead for her...

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    1. You mean you would turn down a chance at great sex just because the guy might impregnate you with a bunch of alien babies? Lol! :)

      Thanks, Kymm!

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  15. That cocoon was a horror. All the guys are asleep, its past midnight and I am reading this piece...I already am terrified of the night...and now this alien monster,,better get my bible.

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    1. LOL! Sini, you crack me up. Hopefully you were able to get some sleep. Thanks for the wicked cool comment!

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  16. I'm not going to sleep tonight Ivy, THANKS A LOT.

    oh my goodness, the sex, the bump, the ending. You are a master at storytelling. WOW>
    XO

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    1. :)

      Thank you, my friend. Your comments always make my day. Love ya, girly!

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    1. Haha! Sadly, it's too late for Dana. She's now a human incubator for alien babies. And Peter, of course, has bailed on her. So typical of alien baby daddies. :)

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  18. I knew that lump was going to be something bad & boy was it?Ooh Ivy,this chilled me to the bone!Great sci-fi-alien story-have always found the idea of body-snatching more sinister than anything else-I specially loved the suddenness with which it all happened in a rush at the end,leaving the reader open jawed in shock :-)Well done-as always <3

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    1. Atreyee, you truly leave the best comments. Thank you for always taking the time to read and then write such wonderful feedback. :)

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