The makeshift bar consisted of layers of plywood between cinder blocks. Cotton spiderwebs draped the front. Under the black lighting, Jessie squinted to read the handwritten drink menu.
rum,
brandy, pineapple juice, orange juice, lime juice
$5
VAMPIRE’S KISS
vodka, gin, vermouth, tequila, tomato
juice
$3
“What’s your poison?” Asked the guy in the giant plug costume.
Jessie bought two zombies and briefly pondered the whereabouts of the inevitable girl dressed as a socket.
Drinks in hand, she waited outside for Jeremy, whom she hadn’t seen in weeks. When his parents were out of town last month, Jessie had planned to spend the night. It was to have been their first time. But her dad intercepted a text and grounded her "for the rest of the decade.”
Kara had offered to provide a cover for the couple to meet up. Somehow she'd convinced Jessie’s parents it would be good for their lovesick daughter to get out and meet new people. Kara had conveniently neglected to mention it was a college party.
*
Jessie awoke to a circle of hooded figures staring down at her. They were chanting in Latin. She scanned the shadowy faces, zeroing in on Kara. A crude X emblazoned her cousin’s forehead. Confused and panicked, Jessie implored her with her eyes. Kara remained stone faced, intoning with the others.
Ropes immobilized Jessie’s limbs. She lifted her throbbing head to see Jeremy lying a few feet away, his lifeless eyes boring through her. A ring of black ash surrounded them. Jeremy's blood seeped toward Jessie. She screamed, but terror seized her voice.
“Why?” She finally managed to whisper.
A cloaked man stepped forward. Something glinted at his side.
"Authentic virgins of consenting age are so rare these days," he explained, raising the sword.
#
This
week's Trifecta Writing Challenge:
The
entry must be 33-333 words and include the word "zombie" as defined
below:
ZOMBIE
a mixed drink made of several kinds of rum, liqueur and fruit juice
Word count: 333
I laughed at this:
ReplyDelete"Jessie bought two zombies and briefly pondered the whereabouts of the inevitable girl dressed as a socket."
...and then just a moment later gasped so hard I almost spit out my coffee.
So.well.done.
Haha! Sorry about the near coffee mishap, but I'm glad the turn of events was a surprise. Thank you so much for the awesome feedback. :)
DeletePlus also: LOL at this:
ReplyDelete"Every time someone reads my blog and doesn't leave a comment, an angel loses its wings."
I need to change my comment header. Love it.
You saved TWO angels' wings. Well done! :)
DeleteLoved it. Gosh, it really must be a challenge to find virgins these days. And a frat party is the LAST place one needs to be hanging out!
ReplyDeleteVirgins are a dying breed. Ba-dum-bump!
DeleteThanks for reading. :)
Love the text as a parent - dad intercepted a text and grounded her "for the rest of the decade.” Great job, Ivy, as always!
ReplyDeleteThanks, TIZ. :) I really appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment.
DeleteFabulous!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan!
DeleteI am "confunded" by the ending. Interesting write... may be I missed something. Anyway, I liked what I intercepted.
ReplyDelete-HA
HA, were you drinking zombies when you read this? :)
DeleteThanks for letting me know the ending was hazy to you. Here's a synopsis:
Jessie's cousin Kara invited her and Jeremy to the party because they are virgins. Kara and the other party attendees belong to a satanic group that practices ritual sacrifice using virgins. The real purpose of the party was to get Jessie and Jeremy there for the ritual; as such, they were sacrificed in the end.
Hope that helps. :)
This is great, and the puns in the comments only make it better.
ReplyDeleteIf loving puns is wrong, I don't wanna be right. :)
DeleteThanks for the wonderful feedback!
Awesome. I was not expecting virgin sacrifice. Way to work a twist. :)
ReplyDeleteNeither were Jessie and Jeremy. ;)
DeleteThank you. Glad you liked the story.
You never disappoint, my friend. You take a run of the mill Halloween party, add a socket costume and a virgin sacrifice and voila! Very entertaining! ;) Great little story, Ivy!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the prompt, I immediately thought frat Halloween party. I'm not sure how I ended up with virgin sacrifice. My mind is a scary, scary place. :)
DeleteThanks for the lovely comment!
Ah, the allure of the virgin! Not looking to find any notches for my bedpost but, nevertheless, the danger (for young girls, especially) of drinking at parties was brought home very well in this story. Nicely written story, Ivy. I'm going to give my girls an extra-protective Daddy hug and kiss goodnight, now. Bye! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tom! Yes, hug those little princesses of yours tightly. While you're at it, you might want to lock them up until they're in their 30s. Just a thought. :)
DeleteVery nice! I like how you managed to combine humor and horror in one piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Janna! Some of my favorite horror movies have an element of humor. I thought I'd give it a try. Glad you enjoyed it. :)
DeleteOoh, a twist from debaucherous to horror in such short step. Nice
ReplyDeleteDebauchery and horror just seem so well suited for each other.
DeleteThanks for reading. :)
Great twist! I thought the dialogue was very tight and convincing, as well. No words were wasted. The description of the bar helped congeal the horror scene later. You also conducted some subtle, but razor edged, humor in there; the opening paragraph was especially dark and funny.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. What an awesome comment! If you could see me now, you would see that my cheeks are flush--and I haven't even had my nightly cocktail(s) yet. :)
DeleteThank you, Turok, for the lovely, lovely feedback!
Well constructed. Didn't see the ending - made me smile... (RogRites)
ReplyDeleteGlad my story gave you a smile. Thanks, Rog!
DeleteWell done. You do dark up right!
ReplyDeleteThanks, TMW! :) I do enjoy going to the dark side, so I love hearing that I've served it up well. :)
DeleteYour humor totally makes this piece. Great job with the prompt. Really strong writing. Thanks for linking up.
ReplyDeleteWow! Such wonderful feedback. Thanks! I'm thrilled that my attempt at dark humor has been so well received. :)
DeleteFrat parties are not what they used to be - or thankfully I never attended one like this. Or, and this is the more likely scenario, I never knew any virgins in college. Nicely done, Ivy. I sure did not expect that turn of events. A cautionary tale for drinking. I like it!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Yeah, it's probably the latter. :)
DeleteThanks for the kind words, Steph! I'm glad the end was a surprise. But I think it's more of a cautionary tale against being a virgin. ;) Drinking is fine. Drinking is ALWAYS fine.
Ha! One less reason to be saving yourself, I say! Great (guffaw, shiver) story, Ivy!
ReplyDeleteyou're my kind of gal Kymm. LOL (winks)
Delete-Kir
Exactly! If Jessie's dad had just let Jeremy deflower her as planned, those two kids would still be alive today. :)
DeleteThanks for reading, and for the laugh. (You too, Kir--you naughty girl!)
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious! such a funny horror story, well done.
Thanks so much! :)
DeleteOops.. maybe better grounded than dead.
ReplyDeleteBeing grounded does suck, but dying is a real buzzkill. :)
DeleteThanks for reading, Bjorn.
there was a movie when I was growing up (when WE were growing up) about a cult/frat/ at a college that literally scared the hell out of me, I almost swore I'd never pledge a sorority because of it,...this reminded me of it.
ReplyDeleteThe humor was perfect and punchy, the scare factor was off the charts..as always you give as good as you get Ivy. BRAVO.
Ooooh! Do you remember the name of it? Because, of course, I HAVE to see it now.
DeleteThanks for the wicked cool feedback. Your comments are such ego boosters. :)
Oh lord! She should have sayed grounded! I too loved, loved the humor in this!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jennifer! I'm so happy you enjoyed my twisted little story. :)
DeleteLooks like Kara conveniently neglected to mention a few other things. Nicely done. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha! Just a few pertinent details. ;)
DeleteThanks for reading!
You snuck in that twisted ending.
ReplyDeleteWhat? Just a little virgin sacrifice. ;)
Delete