Fingers uncoil my carefully executed crown of curls.
I love.
He pities.
Guilt and scarred wrists tether us for now.
I will settle for that.
#
This weekend's Trifextra challenge: Write a 33-word piece including these three words:
tether
loft
crown
Friday, September 6, 2013
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Save the kittens!
ReplyDeleteps this little tale leads to all sorts of images. Some good. Some bad. Haven't decided which is most likely yet.
I think that's a fair assessment of their relationship: some good, some bad. Probably mostly bad, though.
DeleteThanks for stopping by. :)
To me, this is sad. I think she sells herself short by settling for pity and guilt.
ReplyDeleteVery true. I think she's also being manipulative--taking advantage of his guilt over her decision to harm herself.
DeleteThanks for reading!
It's sad but kind of beautiful. Like painfully beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGreat take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteA troubled love sometimes seems the best of choices.
ReplyDeleteI guess she thinks it's better than being alone. I'd have to disagree with her on that one.
DeleteThank you for reading!
beautiful, sad, all at once.
ReplyDeleteGuilt and scarred wrists ... blow me away, Ivy!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kymm! What's a love story without a little guilt and attempted suicide? ;)
DeleteI love.
ReplyDeleteHe pities.
Ouch.
I shall take that as a compliment. :)
DeleteThank you!
Whoa! A lot of story packed in 33 words. I really feel the contradiction. Very well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, lumdog! I'm happy the contradiction came through for you. Her love for him almost destroyed her, but--at the same time--keeps her going.
DeleteWow. This is brilliant! Intense and loaded. Love the way you've told their story in just 33 words.
ReplyDeleteComing from a writer whom I highly respect, this just makes my day. Thank you, Suzanne! :)
DeletePretty intense story here, with lots to read between the lines. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I enjoy reading stories that allow me to fill in the blanks, make up a back story. So, I'm happy to know my story does just that. :)
DeleteLove the candor in your work. Your characters are often brutually honest and never asking for pity or rescue. I like that- alot.
ReplyDeleteLaTonya, I am loving this feedback! I hadn't really thought of it before, but those are the type of characters I tend to write. I like strong characters, whether they're good or bad. Many of mine are flawed, but they don't apologize for that. And I've been accused of being brutally honest more than once, so I guess that comes out when I speak as my characters. Too funny!
DeleteThank you for prompting me to reflect on my writing style and for the kind words. :)
Few words giving so much of an insight into a troubled relationship. I love this.
ReplyDeleteWith only 33 words, you have to leave out a lot and hope the reader infers what's missing. I love knowing the troubled nature of their relationship came through to you. Thank you so much!
DeletePoignant. And sad. This is very intense and filled with conflict. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gina! That's exactly what I was hoping to achieve with this little glimpse into their story.
DeleteThis one is good for pondering. I like that.
ReplyDeletePondering is good. :)
DeleteThanks, Draug!
I see bad. But then I revel in the dark side... Being on the pitied side of a relationship surely can't be a good thing. Clever piece.
ReplyDeleteI live on the dark side, but like to take the occasional vacation to the light side. :) This is dark territory. Guilt is a shitty foundation for a relationship. And who wants pity sex? Not this girl.
DeleteThought provoking, troubling, intense and darkly beautiful. I almost forgot the three words, as I read, and re read your piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm getting the word "intense" a lot in the comments. I love that assessment, and I love this feedback. You pretty much summed up how I was hoping this story would come across.
DeleteTruly, thank you so much!
This type of relationships make me sad... well used words here... really worked out like a lot of story
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bjorn! It is sad. In real life, I'm sometimes amazed at what keeps people tethered to one another. Lots of unhealthy relationships out there.
Deleteoh,oh-what a tether!Terribly sad if one has to compromise in this way-not love at all,isn't it-more of a co-dependency-he thrives on her guilt & she on his pity!Awesome piece Ivy and yes,it does seem that our themes this week are "kissing cousins" ;-)
ReplyDeleteHey, Atreyee!
DeleteThe guilt I was referring to was his because she slashed her wrists after he left her. I don't think she feels any guilt. She's won her prize, after all.
My piece could be the sequel to yours, don't you think? Because he found someone new, she committed the desperate act. (Who knows if she really meant to end her life or just get his attention?) So, now he's back and they are "imprisoned" in this dysfunctional relationship. Awesome!
Ravenous moans....that engulfed me...hungry for being loved and not pitied. What a story you paint in a very open ended manner with just 33 words!
ReplyDeleteYes! She is willing to settle for his pity (if that's the only way to keep him), but she would much prefer that he return her love. He might be with her, but her hunger for him will never truly be satiated this way.
DeleteThank you so much for the thoughtful comment!
My, lots going on here... will require some thought. I love, he pities... hmmm. Scarred wrists... not good.
ReplyDeletep.s. nice try with the threat about leaving comments.
DeleteNot good at all. Boy leaves girl, girl attempts suicide, boy comes back out of guilt--resulting in pity sex and misery. :)
DeleteP.S. The threat worked. You saved two kittens today. Bravo! :)
Wow, this is chilling and sad and horrifying yet I'm strangely relieved, for the moment. Great writing in 33 words, Ivy!
ReplyDeleteOoo. It's a 33-word definition for Borderline Personality Disorder. Great job with the prompt. Don't forget to vote!
ReplyDeleteI like it, simple as that. :-)
ReplyDelete"I love" "He pities" Brilliant. I'll go up and click on that Mommy Blogger link and wish you good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda! And thanks for voting. :)
DeleteCan you leave what number you are on the voting for top mommy blogger if possible -- since there's 4500 to choose from . . . :D
ReplyDeleteHaha! That link is tied to my blog listing. Just clicking on it registers a vote for me. So, you've already voted.
DeleteThanks again! :)