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Monday, July 8, 2013

A Birthday Poem for Hubs
a.k.a. Suck It, Hallmark!

I tried to find the perfect card
To celebrate you, Honey.
But this blog post will have to do 'cause
Cards cost too much money.

Your (cough) cheap-ass (cough) frugal wife
Would rather die than pay
Six big ones for some mass-produced,
One-poem-fits-all clich√©.

So I'm like, "Who needs Hallmark?"
I've been known to drop a rhyme.
And since I'm gainfully unemployed,
I certainly have the time

To tell you just how blessed I am
to have you in my life.
Thanks for puttin' a ring on it
And making me your wife.

As housewives go, I'm not the most
Domestically inclined.
But when the laundry's piling up
You never seem to mind.

You snake out slimy clumps of hair
Each time the shower clogs.
And that's a lot of snaking since
I shed more than the dogs.

You rescued me from snow and now
We're close to Mickey's house,
Which means I get more visits with
My favorite cartoon mouse.

You're always so supportive of
My "projects," and my schemes.
Your faith in me inspires me
To go after my dreams.

Truth is I'm no day at the beach.
Let's face it: I'm a pain.
My snarky, stubborn streak would drive
A lesser man insane.

You take the time to know our kids
When some dads barely bother.
Our babies are so fortunate
To have you as their father.

I never thought I'd find a guy
As awesome as my dad
Then I met you and, I must say,
I didn't do half bad.

Well, that's your birthday poem, Hubs.
I'm sorry if it sucks.
I know it's not a Hallmark, but
I did save six whole bucks!

Helping Daughter
reach new heights
Guiding Son through
life's little storms

He does claim them
most of the time
Sorry, ladies. He's all mine.

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