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Friday, August 9, 2013

Roots

This weekend's Trifextra writing challenge: write a 33-word piece including the word "tooth."


I found another piece of bone in the flower bed yesterday.
And a tooth with the root still attached.
Grandfather has been in the ground for months,
but we're still burying his crimes.

60 comments:

  1. You made me laugh. Wonderful!
    PS: I have clicked the flashing light and am about to save another kitten!

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    1. This made you laugh?! You are obviously a sick, twisted individual--my favorite kind.

      Thank you for commenting, voting and sparing a kitty. :)

      Delete
  2. So it's skeletons in the garden rather than in the closet...Kinda creepy, but good.

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    1. We probably should check Grandfather's closet too. ;)

      Thanks, Draug!

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  3. Oh, my. The idea of Grandfather's crimes fertilizing the garden is kinda of creepy (okay, really creepy :))

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    1. Creepy is good. :) Thanks for reading, Janna!

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  4. A skull would make a fabulous flower pot :) Tulips coming from the jaw, one-eyed daisies from the eye sockets and something aromatic from the nasal. Chilling tale, mate!

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    1. You've given a lot of thought to this. Lol! Your comment might be creepier than my story. I'm impressed and terrified at the same time. :)

      Thanks, Shawn!

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  5. Wickedly wonderful! But they need to dig a wee bit deeper.

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    1. I don't think they'd like what they found if they dug deeper. Grandfather had issues. :)

      Thanks for the kind words!

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  6. Just what has Grandad buried? A great take on the prompt.

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    1. Thank you! Grandfather took his secrets to the grave, and now they're his family's secrets. Relatives--what are you gonna do, right? :)

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  7. WOW, that was so good. You always write something that punches right in the chest.

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    1. Kir, thank you! Coming from a writer of your caliber, that is high praise indeed. :)

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  8. That is chilling! Nicely written!

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    1. Thanks, Joe! I really appreciate your comment. :)

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  9. What has grandfather done now?

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    1. Usually when a senior citizen finds a hobby he enjoys it's a good thing. Not so much in Grandfather's case. :)

      Thanks for reading!

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  10. That is sort of creepy. And a little funny.

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    1. Creepy and funny sounds good to me. Thanks for the kind words! :)

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  11. Marvelously disturbing! Well done.

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    1. "Marvelously disturbing"

      I think that probably describes me as well. I should get that on a T-shirt. :) Thanks so much!

      Delete
  12. Hmm.. what was gramps into :) Sounds devious.

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    1. Grandfather certainly found a unique way to fill the slow days. :) Thanks for stopping by!

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  13. Oooh (rubs hands together in delight)!

    "... a tooth with the root still attached"

    That is gloriously horrible :)

    I'm salivating...

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    1. OK, this totally made my day. Thank you for the awesome comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed this little foray into my dark, twisted mind. :)

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  14. Older criminals tend to be more careless, especially when they know the family will bury the bones.

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    1. True. Very true. :) Thanks for reading!

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  15. Well done! A chiller and a thriller, all from the word, tooth. Very creative take on the prompt.

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    1. Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate your kind words. :)

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  16. I laughed, but only because I was picturing dead animal in the flower garden, and then turns out it's the grandfather's crimes. Roots still attached to the tooth. The description is one that someone tries to keep out of their mind, but the gory image keeps popping up. Loved it.

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    1. Donetta, thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. I like to mix it up with the challenges, but I almost always lean toward humor. With this piece, I was going for creepy yet subtlely humorous. So, I'm thrilled to know you laughed and were a little grossed out. :)

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  17. I found this funny rather than creepy (does that say something about me?). Really like the way you presented the story.

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    1. Yes, it says that you and I would probably get along well. ;)

      Thanks so much!

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  18. Oh, Ivy, I do love your sense of humor! Grandpa sure had a full life. He seems to have had the energy of a murderer half his age;)

    Well done-and some lucky kitty will live to see another day!

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    1. I guess the multivitamins and senior water aerobic classes kept Grandfather in top killing form. :)

      Thank you, Valerie! It's always nice when someone appreciates my warped humor.

      Delete
  19. Haha:) Bet you have the most lush and fertile garden in the neighbourhood.

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    1. Our neighbors are very competitive about the landscaping. Sometimes keeping up with them is murder. ;)

      Thanks for reading!

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  20. This was grizzly fun... yikes what kind of family secrets there are.

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    1. Grandfather definitely had some "killer" secrets. :)

      Thanks, Björn! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  21. Whoa! It seems grandpa was a busy fella, but it seems like his family is even busier. Good job.

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    1. Let's hope Grandfather at least left them something in his will, not just the garden. :)

      Thank you!

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  22. Replies
    1. Thank you, Glynis! I really appreciate the kind words. :)

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  23. liked this - fun twist - relatives what you gonna do?

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    1. There's one in every family, right? :)

      Thanks for reading!

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  24. Whoa! Record Scratch . . . I thought Grandpa went to retire in Florida . . . .

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    1. That's what we wanted you to think. ;)

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  25. Ooh, creepy! That Grandpa sounds like quite a character. :)

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    1. Grandfather is something all right. :)

      Thanks for reading!

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  26. Yuck, so creepy. I love it! I have one little suggestion though -- I know it goes one word over, but I'd use "digging up" instead of "burying." Maybe flowerbed can be one word to stick to 33.

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    1. Jenna,

      Thanks for reading and for the suggestion. :)

      I was using "burying" figuratively, as in they're covering up Grandfather's crimes. I wanted to convey this as a family secret they've been concealing for some time--perhaps even when Grandfather was alive.

      Thanks again for taking the time to make a suggestion. I really appreciate the input!

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  27. Their family reunions must be interesting...

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    1. Haha! I would imagine so. Thanks for reading! :)

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